IN LOVE WITH THE BOSS – TIPS AND RULES FOR A RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORKPLACE
In love with the boss and now? Love for one’s boss is often a complicated matter. It happens a lot more often than you might think. 10% have even fallen in love with the boss at some point. Almost half of all Germans have already had a relationship at work.
Learn the top pros and cons of a workplace relationship, how to find out if your boss is reciprocating your feelings, and 6 rules that can help make love work at work.
IN LOVE WITH THE BOSS: REAL FEELINGS OR JUST A CRUSH?
Do you think you have fallen in love with your boss? Before you panic, you should first take a very close look at your feelings. Maybe you just feel drawn to him because the two of you have worked so closely together lately, or is there really more to your crush? These 5 questions clarify:
- DO YOU FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE AS A BOSS OR AS A PERSON?
People in leadership roles attract many people. They embody self-confidence, authority, have a lot of responsibility, and always seem to know where to go. Of course, one should also not ignore the aspect that managers usually earn very well.
So let’s be honest: Would you have the same feelings for your boss if he were in a lower position? Would you have just as crush on him if he were “just” one of your colleagues or the employee in the coffee shop around the corner?
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES YOUR BOSS TICK PRIVATELY?
Many people behave very differently at work than in private. So, before you even think about confessing your love to your boss, do you have to be clear about whether you have just fallen in love with the person you work with every day? Or do you also like to have your private self around you? A short chat at the coffee machine, a personal conversation during the lunch break, or company parties are a good opportunity to get to know more about the private side of your manager.
- CAN YOU IMAGINE A FUTURE WITH HIM?
A relationship with the boss brings some complications and should therefore be carefully considered beforehand. Go inside and think: Do you just think he’s great, or can you still imagine being with this man in 5 years? Only if you believe that the relationship could really last is it worth taking the next step.
- IS IT JUST A FILLER?
Are you annoyed by your permanent single existence and finally want some love and romance in your life again? The attractive boss, who has kept an eye on you for a long time, naturally offers the perfect opportunity for a few romantic daydreams.
However, you should leave it with these. A relationship that only serves to fill a void in you is doomed to fail.
PROS AND CONS OF A RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORKPLACE
Working with your partner not only privately but also professionally has both advantages and disadvantages. We have summarized the most important ones for you :
IN LOVE WITH THE BOSS: THE ADVANTAGES
Being in love with the boss has its advantages. Those who work together 30-40 hours a week inevitably get to know and appreciate each other pretty well. For this reason, relationships that arise in the workplace also last significantly longer on average than acquaintances that we make at a party or while traveling, for example.
Also, such couples usually have a greater understanding of the professional issues and problems of their partner and they are also better able to celebrate successes together.
ANOTHER ADVANTAGE: Those who work together spend a lot of time together. Discussions like: “Honey, you work so much, we hardly ever see each other …” will not be in your relationship.
DISADVANTAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BOSS
A relationship with the boss often creates a lot of gossip among colleagues. Although most Germans generally have no problem with relationships at work, after all, 11% say, “For me, a relationship with the boss is an absolute no-go !”
Gossiping and accusations, it would only highly sleep, or get preferential treatment, are not uncommon.
Many couples who work together also find it difficult to separate work and personal life. Relationship problems are taken to work and professional issues are discussed further in the evening at the dinner table.
In a relationship with the boss, the question always arises as to what will happen if the two of you split up at some point. Can you still work together objectively or are your private conflicts getting in the way? That would not only be bad for the working atmosphere but in the worst case could even mean a termination.
5 SIGNS MY BOSS IN LOVE WITH ME
You are sure: the feelings for your boss are more than just a little crush. Now, of course, the question arises: does he have feelings for you too? While a man’s body language is not that easy to decipher even in normal situations, you have to give your boss an extra dose of sensitivity for better or worse. These 5 signs can help:
- YOU GET SPECIAL TREATMENT
Have you ever observed how your boss treats your colleagues? Does he treat you the same as you do, or have you noticed any differences? Is your supervisor significantly more friendly towards you, is more courteous, or even seems a little nervous at times when he speaks to you? Then this is a clear sign that he has feelings for you too.
- HE ORGANIZES EXTRA PRIVATE MEETINGS
Does your boss schedule a meeting with you almost every day to discuss something that you could have clarified in a short email? Congratulation! Obviously, he really enjoys spending time with you.
- HE LOOKS AT YOU ALL THE TIME IN MEETINGS
Do you have a meeting with 10 people, but the eyes of your boss are only on you? It is not for nothing that they say: a look is worth a thousand words. And in this case, he says very clearly: There are feelings at play here.
- YOUR BOSS SEEKS PHYSICAL CONTACT
Physical contact with the boss? That rarely happens in everyday office life. If you still have the feeling that your boss has been provoking more physical contact lately, then this is a clear indication that he, too, is in love with you
- MEETINGS DURING THE LUNCH BREAK OR AFTER WORK
Your boss is constantly arranging meetings that fall during your lunch break or after work and then suggests simply combining the meeting with a small meal in the restaurant? There is no doubt that he will also enjoy spending time with you outside of work.
4 RULES FOR LOVE IN THE WORKPLACE
Being in love with the boss is almost always a delicate matter. When should you make love public and what is the best way to behave in front of colleagues? To make your relationship work in the workplace, you should take the following 6 rules to heart.
- DON’T HIDE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Making your relationship with your boss public is certainly not an easy one, but it is a very important step on the way to your mutual happiness.
If you openly communicate the relationship from the start, you will prevent rumors and at the same time gain more understanding from your employees.
- CLEAR SEPARATION BETWEEN JOB AND PRIVATE LIFE
Another important rule is the clear separation between work and private life. The relationship with your manager should in no way affect the way you work. Often you have to work even harder beforehand so as not to leave the impression on the employees that you are now receiving any benefits.
A 100 percent separation is often not even possible. Nevertheless, try as best you can not to discuss private topics at work and, conversely, not to talk too much about work in your free time.
- CLARIFY THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN ADVANCE
Before you make your mutual relationship public, you should discuss the most important topics together and in peace. How are you going to manage to separate your job and your private life? Can you imagine continuing to work together? Together you will find a suitable solution for every problem.
- CREATE A GOOD CLOSENESS-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Couples who work together inevitably spend a fair amount of time together. As nice as that may be, it can be a real challenge in the long run if you spend 24 hours, 7 days a week together. It is therefore all the more important that both actively take time for themselves. Find your own hobby, don’t always go to the office together or consciously go to lunch with other colleagues.
CONCLUSION: IN LOVE WITH THE BOSS – IT CAN WORK!
Being in love with the boss may not always be easy, but it is definitely not an insurmountable hurdle and can work quite well. And now let’s be honest: who can control who they fall in love with? At the end of the day, the only thing that counts is the people and the feelings they have for one another. With sufficient transparency in front of your colleagues, as well as a clear separation between professional and private life, nothing stands in the way of your relationship with your boss.