With the arrival of a baby, many times the life of a couple is lost, tending to focus only on the child. Tiredness, lack of time, and new responsibilities do not help, and it is easy to fall into the routine of being a mother and leave the couple’s relationship in the background.
So that this does not happen and a balance is reached, it is important to implement activities and behaviors aimed at maintaining and strengthening the sexual spark, communication, and intimate relationship.
Here are some tips.
One of the basic principles in any relationship is communication. If we don’t explain what we want, our partner won’t know. Therefore we must be sincere, that we say things as they are, but always with kindness.
The arrival of a baby supposes the adaptation to a new situation, and this can sometimes be very complicated causing restlessness, nervousness, and fatigue, causing difficulty in finding moments for communication between the members of the couple. It is advisable to find a time of day to be able to talk about what has happened during the day with the baby, such as when you get home in the evening after work.
INVOLVE HIM IN THE CARE OF THE BABY
It is important to involve the partner in caring for the baby since sometimes our protective maternal instinct comes to exclude it. He has also had a son, so he also has to take on the role of father. We don’t want to do it all alone. We have to let him take care of the baby in his way and at his own pace, encourage him, and show us that he is doing well. In this way, we will strengthen the couple’s relationship by seeing that we trust him and that he can also take care of his baby.
RETURNING SEXUAL LIFE
The intimate life of the couple must continue since it is one of the basic pillars of a sentimental relationship. If this does not exist, problems may appear in the couple’s relationship.
Obviously, after childbirth we must give the body the rest time it needs (“quarantine”), resuming sexual relations when we are ready and feel like it. It is very important to talk about this topic so that there are no misunderstandings and to prepare for the restart of sexual life. It is advisable to start relationships slowly and without haste, with caresses, kisses, massages …, exploring the erogenous zones, since it may be that these have changed after childbirth: for example, there are lactating women whose sensation of pleasure changes in the breasts and they like more to be stimulated by other areas.
After delivery, it is important to regain physical shape. Many women, being so busy with the baby, are neglected, and fall into the routine of day to day without paying attention to themselves. By doing this we can make our partner distance himself and not be receptive. We must take care of ourselves and make ourselves beautiful. For example, we can take advantage of when the baby is asleep to do a manicure, makeup, or get ready. In this way we will feel good about ourselves, we will increase our self-esteem, and in turn, we will rekindle the attraction.
HAVE TIME FOR TWO
It is very important to have some time to do something together. It is not always easy to find the time to go out to the movies or dinner with a small baby and walking around without sleep, but a simple walk or a quiet conversation at home can be enough.
The fact of leaving the baby for a while with another person (grandparents, uncles, etc.) is already a personal decision. If we choose to do so, we should not feel uncomfortable. One is not a worse mother for this reason, and perhaps a respite can go well for us.
In short, having a child involves a life change in many aspects, especially in the personal field. Our partner is our basic pillar, so it is very important not to neglect her, to continue loving her as always, and to live together all the magical moments that await us.