HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF LOVING AGAIN

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Understanding fear is necessary to overcome it. Identifying its origin is a key step that allows you to practice exercises targeted at this feeling in particular. Here is how to go about overcoming your fears.

What Is Fear?

First of all, it is important to understand the mechanism of fear. If we take its literary definition, fear is described as a feeling of alarm, of strong worry in the presence of a threat or danger. It can also be described as a feeling of dread or a state of fear in a given situation. But above all, fear is one of our four primary emotions which are anger, joy, sadness, and finally, fear.

Today, we tend to classify it as a “negative” emotion when in the past it was useful for the survival of humans. Indeed, prehistoric man was above all guided by his instincts in a dangerous and rather hostile world. Initially, fear is therefore an automatic emotional alarm signal. Thanks to her, we have the reflex to flee when we feel our life is threatened.

Why Are We Afraid?

It is essential to differentiate between the real threat and the imagined danger. Indeed, in our modern society, our negative thoughts are most often the source of our fears. They lead us to imagine the worst and they generate confusion, stress, hesitation, anxiety and sometimes even panic and anxiety attacks. Previous experiences can fuel these parasitic thoughts, like bad memories. These create false beliefs and blockages because they lead us to the unknown.
We would like to be able to take control and keep it in every situation especially when we are anxious. This simple idea reassures us, but it is only an illusion. The unforeseen is recurring, and we will always be forced to step out of our comfort zone. Feeling some form of apprehension or fear is quite normal. On the other hand, this feeling should in no way paralyze us or make us lose our means.

KNOWING HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR FEARS

Unearth Your Greatest Fears

To determine what your fears are, there are several options available to you. First, you can list your top five fears. Here, you have to stay focused on your person, and not on your loved ones. Then ask yourself: are they grounded and realistic? It is a simple exercise, which will nevertheless require you to reflect on your emotions. These fears can be present forever, or since a certain event. They may not all be explainable, but they are ingrained in you.

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● A little more difficult: identify your unconscious fears. They can concern commitment, change, the passage of time. These fears are mostly diffuse and do not manifest as much as the primary fears directly linked to instinct. If you want to spot them, you will need to take the time to reflect and remember the situations that have aroused a form of discomfort in you.

● List those moments and describe the emotions you felt: was it fear? What did you feel?
You can also create a two-column table in which one column will be reserved for your fears and all your darker ideas on a topic of your choice (family, work, love, etc.). In the second column of your table, you will place all of your dreams related to this same subject. By using this method, you will be able to draw the parallel between your false beliefs and your goals. The idea is to remove the blockages generated by unrealistic fears. Of course, you need to be sincere and thoughtful during this exercise.

The Fears That Block Your Projects

Among the fears you feel, some are likely to block your personal or professional projects. Here it is essential to identify your fears if you want to move forward and start working to overcome them. Otherwise, your efforts are likely to be in vain and your plans will never come to fruition. List your plans (having a child, getting a promotion, buying a home, etc.) for which you feel blockages, apprehensions, or fears. These are the ones you care about but are unable to take action for a variety of reasons.
Once you’ve established your list, ask yourself the right questions: What are the positives if your situation remains the same? And what will be the negative aspects of your situation changes? This exercise can uncover certain blockages, fears, and false beliefs related to your project. Therefore, it is up to you to ask yourself about their merits and their influence on your life. These fears should no longer hinder your personal or professional development.

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The Fears That Keep You From Reaching The Life Of Your Dreams

Assume that you only have a few months or weeks to live. This is certainly not encouraging, but exercise is very beneficial in raising awareness of the fears that drive you. What do you think becomes essential as your supposed death quickly approaches? Do you have any regrets or remorse? Did you live the way you wanted to? Do you still have things to accomplish? And most important: are you happy?

Of course, this is to list only the elements on which you can act. Events beyond your control and over which you have no influence are not taken into account. For example: have you given up on projects that you cared about? For what reasons? If you could go back, would you do things differently?

For this exercise to work, you will need to show the utmost sincerity to yourself. Take your share of the responsibility: the goal is to help you move forward. Be honest. In this context, there is no point in wanting to blame others for your own decisions or take into account external circumstances. The fatality has nothing to do with it.

HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEARS

Having identified your most sincere and deepest fears is an essential first step. If you have succeeded, then you will need to mobilize your willpower to overcome them.

Confront His Fears

As a general rule, the best way to overcome your fear to confront them directly. Showing courage is above all about moving forward despite your fears. Facing them will allow you to get rid of them. Grab your courage with both hands and step out of your comfort zone. You will be able to give yourself the means to realize your projects and your desires. But for that, you won’t need to embark on too drastic a change. You just have to go in small steps. Set small daily challenges as well as achievable goals over longer periods. Take small but meaningful actions to move slowly without getting discouraged.

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Adopt Meditation

Accept your fears, and learn to control your reactions. In the previous part, you uncovered your main fears and your biggest dreams. Now take a few quiet moments to relax and close your eyes. Imagine what life would be like without all of these fears. To help you, focus on a particular situation. Imagine yourself in a context that scares you, like when you have to speak in public for example. Learn to visualize this scene from a purely positive point of view. Feel comfortable and confident. Soak up positive thoughts and let go of your dark ideas: they no longer need to be!

The Secret Is In Repetition

Overcoming your fears is something that will naturally take place over time. To make this possible, you will certainly have to repeat your actions until all of your fears are gone. Little by little, each action will turn into a new habit that will take root in you. Of course, this process requires commitment and perseverance on your part.
Overcoming your fears unfortunately does not happen with the wave of a magic wand. For this to work, we must give ourselves the means and mobilize courage. If freeing yourself from your fears is going to take time, don’t hesitate to reward yourself from time to time! Congratulate yourself, appreciate your efforts and indulge yourself to keep your motivation intact as the days go by.

TO CONCLUDE

You already have all the keys to overcoming your fears, it’s up to you. Never forget how much they can hinder your dreams and ruin your life. Don’t let them control your reactions anymore. Take hold of your fears by identifying them and taking the time to understand them. You will then have plenty of time to get rid of them by choosing to face them. You and only you are capable of it, go for it!

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