If I had to say a single indicator of whether a relationship should continue, it would be the following: Does your relationship add or subtract you? Does it help you to be better and develop as a person? Or, on the contrary, does it limit you, and is it a source more of discomfort than of positive emotions?
ALWAYS LOVE FROM FREEDOM
Loving from freedom means being clear that the other does not belong to you, that the other is a person who freely decides to maintain a relationship with you and therefore is free to leave at any time. Loving from freedom means accepting that the other has the right to make the decisions they want, and to choose what they want to do with their life. It means that everyone must have their private space, their privacy. Loving from freedom means that we want to share our life with the other, but that we do not need it. It means accepting that we are two different people and not a two-in-one pack, it means leaving our insecurities aside and getting the other to be with us because they want to and not through manipulations that prevent them from finding a better person. It means that our partner knows thousands of people but still prefers us.
LEARN TO COMMUNICATE
Good communication is one of the basic pillars of the couple since dialogue is what allows us to create a life project in common, where it is very important to negotiate, give in and reach agreements.
Proper communication can make arguments become constructive and bring the couple closer together, rather than separating them and creating grudges. Also, reserving a daily space to talk with our partner about anything is an excellent habit that will help to strengthen and maintain a satisfactory relationship.
The area in which inadequate communication gives the most problems is that of discussions. You can learn to discuss constructively, in which we contribute our point of view with respect and explain how we are feeling, without having to enter a vicious circle of reproaches and accusations in which we will most likely end up arguing about something that happened years ago, leaving aside the issue that started the discussion.
HERE ARE SOME GUIDELINES TO LEARN TO DISCUSS CONSTRUCTIVELY:
● Discuss only one topic at a time.
● Talk about how you feel, do not accuse the other.
● Avoid generalizations (always, never, everything, nothing) and talk about a concrete fact.
● Use a polite tone and avoid discussing a topic when your anger level is very high.
● Ask for what you want, specify the change (for example I would like the next time we go to my mother’s house before lunch and not in the middle of the afternoon).
● Do not go into reproaches of the other person and ignore if they attack you or change the subject. (For example, We can talk about this topic if you want at another time, now I’m trying to tell you that.
● End the review with something good (ex: I thank you for listening to me and I hope this issue is resolved as I love being good with you).
● Practice assertive communication.
I know that doing this is complicated and that sometimes what you want is to yell at your partner and throw objects around the house, but I assure you that if you take a deep breath, you expect your activation level to drop to speak and use these guidelines you will get much better results.
SHARE QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR PARTNER
Sharing quality time with your partner is a key element so that the relationship does not end up mired in routine. I understand that sometimes we get to have a very busy life and we practically live it on automatic pilot without realizing what is happening around us, but reserving some time to share it with your partner should be among your priorities if your goal is to maintain a relationship. healthy couple relationship. Going out for dinner sometime, a weekend getaway, your favorite movie with popcorn, etc.
RESPECT AND TRUST
Without respect and trust, there is no possibility of a healthy partner. To love is to respect and trust, and without respect and trust, there is simply no love. Relationships based on jealousy and disrespect are destined for failure. Not to mention the cases of infidelity in marriage.