CHEATING – REASONS, SIGNS, AND HOW TO PREVENT IT
Cheating is a real test for any relationship. What is your opinion? For around 70% of couples, loyalty is the most important quality in a relationship. Nevertheless: 39% of women and even more than 50% of all men have been unfaithful in their relationship at some point. How does that fit together?
WHEN DOES CHEATING START?
Looking after someone else, complimenting them, or meeting up with the ex-partner? What is still allowed in a relationship and when does cheating start?
It is completely normal if, apart from your partner, you also find other people around you attractive! That is far from being infidelity!
A long-term sexual affair is clearer cheating for 97% of relationships. And for 88 percent also a clear reason for separation. Even a one-off one-night stand is an affair for 96%.
Cheating doesn’t always have to mean an affair. For most, infidelity starts much earlier. 87% feel that just registering with an online dating portal is cheating and 48% would not tolerate a visit to a strip show either. For 49% of all Germans, the thought of infidelity, for example, if the partner thinks of someone else during sex, is considered a misstep. 46% also see the contact with the ex-partner as critical. For about a fifth, that would be an unforgivable reason for separation.
8 MOST COMMON REASONS WHY PEOPLE CHEAT
“It just happened like that and it didn’t mean anything!” A very popular excuse! In most cases, there is more to it than just a one-off oversight. Men and women cheat for these 8 reasons :
- LACK OF APPRECIATION
You yourself put so much into the relationship but hardly get anything in return. Do you know that feeling too? If we don’t feel valued enough in the relationship, we try to get this lack of appreciation elsewhere. The affair here does not serve to satisfy sexual needs, but rather for emotional confirmation.
- CHEATING FOR ONE’S OWN EGO
Another popular reason for cheating: the need for confirmation. Men, in particular, tend to polish up their own ego with a little fling. They want to prove their attractiveness and show their own ego that they can still load with other women despite their committed relationship.
- ESCAPE FROM RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
Often, cheating is also a hidden attempt to troublesome relationship problems to go out of the way. Constant arguing can lead to either partner starting an affair. A harmless adventure that lets him forget everyday relationships.
- THE CHILD
The time after the birth of a child can also be a test for the relationship. The newborn is now fully in the center and needs based on partnership must first take a back seat. Especially with men, sexual frustration can quickly arise, which they often try to satisfy with the help of an affair.
- CHEATING WITHOUT KNOWING IT
A short smile, a nice conversation, which is quite unintentionally followed by an appointment for coffee.
There are times when we flirt without even realizing it. Men, in particular, can easily be carried away to an unwanted flirtation, while women usually see through men’s body language more quickly. What was just a meaningless meeting for him can, from their point of view, be a clear breach of trust?
- TOO MUCH ALCOHOL
A couple of glasses of wine and you feel totally relaxed and uninhibited. How well do you still have yourself under control after drinking alcohol? Excessive drinking is a popular excuse for a one night stand. But the alcohol itself is not the real reason for the affair. It only disinhibits us and thus creates suppressed needs that have actually existed in us for a long time.
- IN LOVE WITH OTHERS
The woman looks in love at her cell phone Palpitations, butterflies in your stomach, and weakness – but it’s not your partner who triggers this in you, but someone else? That can happen too! Fall in love with a stranger is not a crime! You can’t control your feelings. But be honest with yourself and your partner and end the relationship before you start something new.
- CHEATING OUT OF REVENGE
It is not for nothing that they say: “Revenge is sweet!” Women in particular tend to punish an affair with their partner with revenge and also cheat. Whether this method leads to long-term success is of course rather questionable!
8 TIPS FOR PREVENTING CHEATING
Can you also prevent cheating? Yes, you can! And how? By observing the following 8 tips in your everyday relationship with you and your partner :
- ADDRESSING PROBLEMS
If you do not feel comfortable in the relationship then you should definitely address this. The same is true if you feel your partner is dissatisfied with something. Only conflicts and problems that are addressed can be resolved.
- SHARE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS
If you share feelings and thoughts with your partner that you do not share with anyone else, you create a deep connection that is very difficult for outsiders to sever. Of course, you don’t have to tell your partner every one of your deepest secrets if you don’t feel like it. Even a little confession of love now and then can strengthen the connection.
- PROVIDE VARIETY
Sooner or later, especially in longer relationships, there will be a certain deadlock. You don’t have to indulge in this without a fight. Whether with a visit to the cinema, a romantic dinner date, or maybe something very unusual or crazy, you ensure enough variety in your relationship.
- HAVE CONFIDENCE
No matter whether on a friendly level or in a partnership. A relationship cannot work without trust. Reading secret messages or emails from your partner is a clear no-G0! If you have serious doubts about your partner’s loyalty, speak to them directly.
- MUTUAL APPRECIATION
Also, say “thank you” and “please”. What we actually all learned as children often fall by the wayside in stressful everyday relationships. It is an appreciative dealing with each one of the easiest ways to prevent infidelity.
- LEAVE SPACE
Many partners believe they can prevent cheating by sharing everything with their partner and never leaving his side. But exactly the opposite is the case! If we don’t give our partner enough space, they will feel constricted and try to escape from you. It is not uncommon for this escape to end in an affair. It is better to create a balanced closeness-distance relationship in which everyone can pursue their own interests and hobbies and still have enough time for intimate togetherness.
- FORGE JOINT PLANS FOR THE FUTURE
Another good prophylaxis against cheating: Joint plans for the future! A common perspective is an important basis for a functioning relationship. Because what is a relationship worth today if there is no prospect of tomorrow? Whether family planning, a shared apartment, or the next summer vacation, create a common future that connects them both.
- DON’T AVOID CONFLICT
Relationship quarrel, who likes that? Nevertheless, arguments are also part of a relationship. In fact, they are very important! Only if you address problems and conflicts in your partnership can you find a solution and thus ensure that both partners feel comfortable in the relationship. Dare to address even unpleasant topics! Of course, the following always applies here: stay objective, do not become hurtful, and do not just overwhelm your counterpart with accusations.
CONCLUSION: IN THE END, GUT INSTINCT HAS TO DECIDE
CHEATING IS NOT ALWAYS CHEATING!
Everyone has to decide for themselves where exactly the infidelity begins. And the reasons for cheating are diverse. Regardless of whether it is due to relationship problems, sheer egoism, or really just accidentally: An affair always means a severe violation of the person duped and a great loss of trust in the relationship.
That is why there is no clear “yes” or “no” when asked to forgive or not. Listen to yourself and your gut instinct and try to work out with your partner how this could happen.
Nevertheless; Cheating does not always have to be a direct reason for separation! If they master the problem together, they can even emerge stronger from this crisis and give their relationship new strength and depth.